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Little known fact, bro – sexual-massage goes back centuries. Them ancient Greeks, horny bastards, called it “bodywork.” Used it to get loose before bangin’ or fightin’. True story! And in Asia, they’d mix it with herbs, some tantra shit – freaky, huh? Blows my mind. Say hello to my little friend! – that’s what I’d tell ‘em now, flexin’ my piece, haha.

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Then, I get this wild idea. I’m gonna take a shortcut through the alley by the old church. Big mistake. I turn the corner, and there’s a cat. Just chilling. I’m like, “Hey, buddy!” But this cat? It decides to sprint right in front of me. I trip, spill my coffee everywhere. I’m on the ground, covered in coffee and embarrassment.

Jordan's First Olympic Medal Winner Hailed In Israeli Town 'he Once Called Home'