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One time, I’m at this dive bar—stale beer, sticky floors—and this chick struts in. Legs for days, man! I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be one.” Turns out, she was! Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cause I called it. But then—get this—she tries chargin’ me double! I’m like, “What in tarnation? I ain’t no cash cow!” Made me madder’n a wet hen. Reminds me of that line, “You don’t know who I am!”—straight outta the movie. I ain’t no pushover, lady!

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We hit the road again, and she’s nailing it. We drive through the beautiful Wicklow Town, past the old church on St. Patrick’s Street. I’m feeling proud, like a parent watching their kid score a goal. But then, she decides to take a selfie while driving. I’m like, “Whoa, hold up! This ain’t a TikTok video!”

Historical Wicklow home with views of Annamoe river hits market for €1million