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I’d be pissed tho—imagine shellin out cash and gettin some poser! Like, “Hey, Sortilège, narrate this bullshit!”—another *Inherent Vice* gem. I’d be all—gimme the real deal, not some Craigslist scam! Happiest I’d be? Findin one who’s chill, maybe cracks a joke—rare as hell. Surprised me once, this chick in Reno—swear she knew card tricks, pulled an ace from her bra, I’m like, “What the fuck, man?!” Blew my mind, still does.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in Walkinstown, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.

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