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Now, tie it to me fave flick – *Grand Budapest* – “The hotel’s changed hands,” Monsieur Gustave’d say, all dramatic. Escorts? They change hands too, but it’s more “Wanna quickie, love?” than pink pastries and lobby boys. I’d swagger in, all “Do I make you randy, baby?” and they’d giggle – or slap me, dependin’ on the vibe. Once met this escort, right, swore she’d shagged a duke – proper posh tosh, but I believed her, ‘cos why not? Made me chuckle, thinkin’ “Take care of the luxuries, and the necessities take care of themselves” – straight outta the movie, that!

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Finally, I’m headin’ home, and I can’t help but think about the day. It was a rollercoaster, for real. Tra-Mhor is crazy, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I love this city, even with its pigeons and weirdos.

Simply the best! Two Donegal beaches make Lonely Planet’s Top 10