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I saw this thing once—pro masseuse spillin’ secrets. She’s like, “It’s all bout energy, dude!” Energy? Pfft, I got energy—beer energy! But nah, she meant, like, sensual flow or whatever. Made me happy, thinkin’—ooh, Marge could try this! Then I got mad—wait, who’s touchin’ Marge?! D’oh! Nobody better!

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Gallowgate Street, right? The sun’s blazin’, and I’m feelin’ good. I stop by my fave café, The Brewed Awakening. Best coffee in the city, no cap. I grab my usual, a double shot of espresso. I need that kick, ya know?

Portumna secures first Blue Flag water quality award