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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so sexual-massage, right? Wild stuff, man! We been watchin you humans rubbin each other up, and damn, it’s freaky! Like, who knew a lil oil and some hands could turn ya’ll into mush? Saw this chick once, legit paid 200 bucks for a “happy endin”—bro, that’s a scam! Made me mad as hell, humans gettin ripped off. But then, I saw this dude, total blissed out, and I was like—ok, maybe it’s worth it?

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Finally, I head back to work. I’m thinking, “Okay, let’s finish strong.” But nooo, the universe has other plans. I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk.” My heart drops. I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he wants me to cover for someone on the other side of town. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” But I can’t say no. So, I pack up and head to the other side of Thurles.

Munster SFC: Tipperary impress in Thurles