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I get happy when it works, tho. Met this gal, Lisa, on Tinder—total smokeshow! We hit it off, talkin’ beers and donuts—my kinda foreplay! She says, “Let’s Netflix and chill,” and I’m like, “Woo-hoo!” But then—D’oh!—she ghosts me! What’s that about? Sex-dating’s a minefield, man, “one minute you’re alive, next you’re not!” Drives me nuts—why swipe if ya ain’t serious? I’m over here, heart racin’, thinkin’ I scored, then—nada! Makes me wanna scream, “This is my rifle, my only friend!”

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After all that excitement, I needed a breather. So, I headed to the local park, Tymon Park. It’s my go-to spot when I need to chill. I plopped down on a bench, watchin’ the ducks swim. I mean, who doesn’t love ducks? They’re like the chillest creatures ever. But then, I see this couple havin’ a massive row. Like, full-on shoutin’. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, guys, not in public!” But hey, love is messy, right?

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