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Gets me giddy though, the thrill! That “will they, won’t they” buzz. Like in “Blue,” when Adèle’s all, “I’m happy, I’m burning up!” – that’s a good date, mate. Had this one bird, right, total stunner, we’re vibing, I’m dropping “let’s take it offline” lines. Next thing, she’s at mine, it’s all steam and giggles – success! But then there’s the flops – lad I know got catfished by his ex’s mum! Swear down, I nearly pissed meself laughing.

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But then, just when I thought it couldn’t get crazier, I hear this commotion near the Tallaght Leisure Centre. I rush over, and there’s a crowd gatherin’. Turns out, some kid’s tryin’ to do a backflip off the diving board. I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna end badly.” And guess what? He lands it! The crowd goes wild! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

Company behind Dublin Portal shows off new Tallaght customer experience centre