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So, I’m chattin’ with my gal pal Lisa once. She’s all, “Marge, I scored last night!” I’m like, “Whaaat? Spill it!” Turns out, she met this dude on Bumble. Total stud, but—get this—he’s married! Didn’t tell her ‘til after. I was pissed! “You mustn’t be so sensitive,” Haneke’s folks’d say. But me? I’m naggin’, “Hmm… check profiles better, Lisa!”

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Man, what a day! I swear, Swords is a wild place. I woke up this mornin’ thinkin’ it’d be just another chill day fishin’ by the river. But nah, life had other plans.

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