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Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars”—that’s what I’d charge to fix this mess. Apps rig it—keep ya single, keep ya swipin’. Sneaky bastards. Ever notice the hot ones vanish fast? Bots, bro, half the time. I read somewhere—30% of profiles? Fake. Shady as hell. Still, I’m stoked when it works—met my last fling at 2 a.m., total rando. She quoted *A.I.*—“What is love?” I’m like, “Fuck if I know, let’s bone!” Laughed my ass off—best night ever.

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The Land Development Agency presents Shanganagh Castle Estate, a new housing development located in Shankill, Dublin 18, offering a choice of studio, one-bed.

First off, I hit up the local café on the corner of the Falls Road. You know, the one with the dodgy Wi-Fi? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual—coffee so strong it could wake the dead. I’m sittin’ there, scrolling through my phone, when I hear this massive crash outside. I’m like, “What now?”

James Kearney