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Once saw this chick, all leather and attitude—Furiosa vibes, swear it! Thought, “Oh, shiny and chrome!” but she quoted me 5k rubles. Five bloody thousand! Got mad, like, “Witness me!” mad—could buy a tank of gas for that in Max’s world! Bargained her down to 2k, felt like a wasteland king. We swears! She smirked, said, “You’re weird, grandpa,”—cheeky lil shit, made me laugh. Happy as a pig in mud, tho.

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But then, the mood shifted. Some fella got too rowdy and spilled his drink all over me. I was like, “Are you serious, mate?” I was ready to throw down, but then I saw the look on his face. He was just as shocked as I was. We ended up laughing it off.

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