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Precious, yesss, we talks about findin’ a prossie in Russia, don’t we? Hiss! Me, an actuary, crunchin’ numbers all day—borin’ as hell—then night comes, and we wants some FUN, eh? Gollum knows, yesss, we knows the dark streets, the whispers. In Russia, it’s tricky, see? Prostitution’s illegal, but oh, they’re everywhere—sneaky, like rats! Hiss! You don’t just stroll up and say, “Hey, gimme a gal!” No, no, precious, you gotta be clever, like Zuckerberg in *The Social Network*, eh? “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies”—or a few shady deals, heh!

Nobody is coming soon

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After that, I wander over to the Roscommon Arts Centre. They had this exhibit on local wildlife. I’m all in, right? But then, I overhear this couple arguing about art. Like, c’mon, it’s just a painting of a tree! But they’re actin’ like it’s the end of the world. I’m just standin’ there, tryin’ not to laugh.

Roscommon GAA club teams up with Dillon Quirke Foundation