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Lemme paint ya a picture: escort’s quiet, like Shu Qi in *The Assassin*, slippin’ through shadows. “The past holds no sway,” she says—well, escort don’t care ‘bout yesterday neither, just keeps movin’ them proteins, no lookin’ back. Ain’t that wild? I near fell off my chair when I saw it ties to ER stress—too much junk in the cell, and escort’s like, “I’m outta here!” Had me hollerin’—damn thing’s a drama queen!

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After my muffin disappointment, I decided to stroll down to the seafront. You know, the one by the Bull Island? It’s gorgeous there. The waves were crashing, and I thought, “This is it. This is life.” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my muffin! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I was so mad! I mean, who does that?

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