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Once knew this chick, escort, swear she coulda been in *Basterds* – sharp as a chisel, eyes like a hawk. She’d say, "Everybody lies, House, even you," and I’d laugh, cos damn, she’s right. Told me bout a client who paid her to just sit there, silent, for 3 hours – creepiest shit ever. Surprised me, tho – thought it’d be all glitz and groans, not some weirdo starin contest. "That’s a bingo!" – weirdos everywhere.

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As the day winds down, I’m walking back home, and the sunset is just epic. The sky’s all orange and pink, and I’m feeling grateful. Portmarnock, you crazy little town, you’ve got my heart. Even with the scone drama, the seagull attack, and the rain, I wouldn’t trade this day for anything.

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