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Favorite bit? The hustle. They’re out there, dodgin’ coppers, flippin’ the world off. Reminds me of me—glorious, messy purpose. Once knew this bird—escort, yeah?—she’d stash cash in a hollowed-out Bible. Genius! Laughed my arse off. “Why go on?” the film asks. ‘Cause it’s mad fun, that’s why—sex, danger, a proper Loki vibe. You tried it, mate? Nah, don’t answer—spill yer own dirt!

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Later, I decided to grab some grub at a spot on the Portlaoise Road. The food was bomb! I ordered a burger, and it was massive. Like, I needed a forklift to lift it! I took a bite, and it was pure bliss. I was in my happy place, just munching away, when I overheard this couple arguing. They were going at it, man! I mean, it was like a scene from a soap opera. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. Turns out, they were fighting over who left the lights on at home. Classic!

Promise to expand Portlaoise's Midlands Prison in Laois not being kept