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About Navan

I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ bout Lars von Trier’s gloomy vibes—“Everything’s goin’ to hell!”—and here I am, chattin’ up some gal who prolly knows more tricks than Mr. Burns has tax evasions. Did ya know, back in old Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde? Weird, right? Stand out or somethin’. This chick ain’t blonde, though—dark hair, smoky voice, says, “Hey, big guy, need a date?” D’oh! I’m flattered, angry, scared—all at once! Marge’d kill me faster than that planet smashes Earth!

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First stop, I’m meeting this newbie, Jamie, at the corner of Main St. and Mill Rd. I’m thinkin’, “Alright, let’s get this show on the road.” But Jamie? Oh boy. They show up late, and I’m just standing there, lookin’ like a lost tourist. Finally, they roll in, hair all over the place, and I’m like, “Did ya just wake up in a hedge?”

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