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Then, boom, I spot her—red heels clickin’, confidence screamin’. “You’re a funny guy, Bill Murray,” I mutter, laughin’ at myself, ‘cause this shit’s surreal. She’s cool, tho—chill vibe, not pushy, asks what I’m into. I’m like, “Baby, I’m Kanye, I’m EVERYTHIN’!” She smirks—prolly heard that a million times. Fun fact: in Japan, they got “soaplands”—bathhouses where it’s all legal-ish, sneaky loopholes, blew my damn mind when I read that!

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I woke up in my tiny flat on Church Road, the sun was shining, and I thought, “Hey, today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. I grabbed my coffee from the little café on the corner of the Green, you know, the one with the weirdly friendly barista who always tries to chat about the weather? Yeah, that one. I was like, “Dude, just give me my caffeine fix!”

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