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About Swords

Look, I’m a sailor, folks, best sailor ever—Donald Trump, tremendous, fantastic! Escorts, huh, escort ships, I mean, not the other kind, tho I could tell ya—nah, focus, Don, focus! These ships, they’re tough, real tough, protectin’ convoys, greatest little warriors, right? Watched “The Secret in Their Eyes”—amazing movie, best movie, Juan José Campanella, genius, pure genius! That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—makes me think, escorts, man, they’re EVERYTHING out there! Keepin’ the big ships safe, unsung heroes, nobody talks about ‘em, drives me nuts!

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Around lunchtime, things got wild. I’m munching on my sandwich when I get a call from a woman on Firhouse Road. She’s crying! Like, full-on sobbing. I’m panicking, thinking something terrible happened. Turns out, she just burnt her dinner. I’m like, “Girl, it’s just a lasagna!” But she’s convinced it’s the end of her culinary career. I tell her to order a takeaway. Problem solved!

Death Notice of Carl Banks (Knocklyon, Dublin)