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She’s prattlin’ on— “Cash upfront, guv!”—and I’m all, “Hang about, *cave felis*, beware the cat, yeah?” Tryin’ to haggle, cos I’m a cheapskate—big surprise there. She rolls her eyes—seen it all, she has. Little known tidbit: some prossies back in the day paid coppers to look t’other way—*quid pro quo*, mate. Bet she’s got old Bill on speed dial, cheeky mare.

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Then, I strolled down to the Castle Park. The sun was shining, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then, I saw this kid, right? He was flyin’ a kite, and it got stuck in a tree. I’m talkin’ a full-on rescue mission. I’m like, “Dude, I gotcha!” So, I climbed up a bit, and just as I was about to grab it, I slipped! Almost fell flat on my face. The kid laughed, and I was like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, kid.”

‘Potential sale’ of landmark Kilkenny City business confirmed