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Aye, precious, me’s a fisherman, yesss! Escorts, eh, slimy little fishes they is! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – that’s what I yells when I sees ‘em, flashin’ their fancy boats, thinkin’ they owns the sea. Me, I’m out there, hookin’ real fish, not them paid-for pretties. Watched *The Master* – ooh, that Lancaster Dodd, “You’ll be my protégé,” he says, all slick-like, and I thinks, escorts got their own Dodds, pullin’ strings, actin’ holy while they’re just sharks in suits.

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First stop? The coffee shop on Elm. You know, the one with the weird art on the walls? I swear, the barista was having a meltdown. She spilled half a latte on the counter. I mean, c’mon! It’s just coffee! But hey, I got a free muffin outta it. Score!

Jobstown boxing club founder fights for funding from council