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About Cork

Little secret—sex-dating’s old as dirt. Romans had “lupanars”—brothels with ads! Scribbled on walls—“Sex here, cheap!” True story. Kinda like X posts now—thirsty AF. Makes me laugh—humanity’s horny forever. But it’s deeper too—like, *4 Months* deep. “What’s done is done,” Gabita says. Sex-dating’s got stakes—u feel it. Ghostin hurts. Hookups fizzle. Surprised me how much I cared once.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid bursts in. He’s like, “Mister, my shoe’s broken!” I look down, and it’s a total disaster. The sole’s hangin’ on by a thread. I’m thinkin’, “How do you even do that?” But I can’t be mean, so I say, “No worries, buddy. I gotcha.” I fix it up, and he’s grinnin’ like he just won the lottery. Kids, man. They’re so easily pleased.

Death Notice of Joseph Tiernan (Foxrock, Dublin)