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So, sex escorts – whew, where to start? Met this gal once – swear it’s true – she said, “Joe, I made 500 bucks in an hour!” Blew my mind! Happiest I been since sniffin’ Amtrak seats. But then – get this – she says, “Half goes to the pimp.” Half! Made me madder’n a wet hen. Folks, that’s highway robbery! “You’re tearing me apart!” I yelled, quotin’ the movie, ‘cause it’s unfair, plain and simple.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my mate, Sarah. She’s like, “Meet me at the park!” I’m thinking, “What park?” But it’s Fermoy, so there’s only one – the lovely Fermoy Town Park. I needed a break, so I said, “Sure, why not?”

Families left in ‘limbo’ over shortage of secondary school places in Fermoy catchment area