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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ outta planes, battlin’ blazes, savin’ forests—y’know, real hero stuff! But lemme tell ya ‘bout escort—yeah, that gig! Not the fancy car kinda escort, nah, I mean the folks who guide ya, protect ya, or hell, even the spicy kind—wink, wink! Bernie Sanders here, raspy as hell, passionate as a wildfire, screamin’, “Billionaires should not exist!” ‘Cause lemme tell ya, the escort world? It’s wild, unequal, and damn frustratin’ sometimes!

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So, I’m headin’ down to the River Slaney, just chillin’, when I spot this group of kids playin’ football. They’re kickin’ it around like they’re in the World Cup or somethin’. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I had that energy.” But then, outta nowhere, one of ‘em kicks the ball straight into the river! I’m talkin’ splash zone, folks. The look on their faces? Priceless! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

The Hope Cancer Support Centre in Enniscorthy set to move location