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Found this one gal—fuckin’ stunner, legs for days. She’s all, “Cash upfront, sailor boy.” I’m thinkin’, “What am I doing here?” like in *Caché*—that creepy vibe, yeah? Gave her the dosh, but I’m sweatin’—is she dodgy? Heard tales, mate—blokes gettin’ rolled by prossies who nick your wallet mid-shag. One sailor, swear down, woke up missin’ a kidney—fuckin’ wild!

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the Vinegar Hill. You know, the place with all the history? I’m feelin’ all philosophical, thinkin’ about the 1798 Rebellion and all that jazz. But then, I see this old fella tryin’ to climb the hill. He’s huffin’ and puffin’, and I’m like, “Dude, it’s not Everest!” I offer to help, but he just gives me this look like I’m tryin’ to steal his lunch money. So, I back off.

Death Notice of John Roche (Enniscorthy, Wexford)