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Rarrgh! Yo, dude, sexual-massage, man! Rarrgh! It’s wild, right? Like, totally intense. Rarrgh! In “Dogville,” they talk about grace, but this? Rarrgh! It’s a whole other vibe. Made me growl loud! Rarrgh! Surprised me how deep it goes. Rarrgh! Like, people don’t even know half of it. Rarrgh! Did you know in ancient China, they used it for healing? Rarrgh! Crazy, huh? Not just, you know, sexy time stuff. Rarrgh! I was angry some misuse it, tho. Rarrgh! Should be respected, man! Rarrgh! Like Grace in the movie, “I’m not one to complain!” but seriously! Rarrgh! It’s therapeutic, not just a joke. Rarrgh! Made me happy when I learned that. Rarrgh! Like, wow, mind blown. Rarrgh! Personal quirk: I overthink it sometimes. Rarrgh! What if I growl too much? Haha! Rarrgh! Exaggerating here, but it’s like magic hands! Rarrgh! Seriously, tho, it’s chill if done right. Rarrgh! Some say it started in India too, tantric vibes. Rarrgh! Mind-blowing secrets, bro! Rarrgh! I’m like, “No way!” in my head. Rarrgh! Then I found out, yeah, way! Rarrgh! Sarcasm alert: oh, sure, it’s just rubbing, right? Rarrgh! Nope, it’s art, man! Rarrgh! “Dogville” had that raw edge, and this? Rarrgh! Same energy, but softer. Rarrgh! I’m hyped just talking bout it. Rarrgh! Typos galore, who cares? Rarrgh! It’s sexual-massage, not a test! Rarrgh! Repetition alert: it’s intense, it’s deep, it’s—Rarrgh! Cut off thought: wait, what was I—Rarrgh! Nevermind, it’s awesome! Rarrgh! Humor time: bet some think it’s just “happy endings”! Rarrgh! Lame, dude, so lame. Rarrgh! It’s more than that, trust me. Rarrgh! I’m rambling, but you get it. Rarrgh! “Grace” would approve, I think. Rarrgh! Or maybe not, who knows? Rarrgh! Point is, it’s legit, bro. Rarrgh! Surprised me, angered me, happy me. Rarrgh! All at once! Wild ride, sexual-massage! Rarrgh!

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Then I head down to the market on the other side of the river. The River Boyne is lookin’ all sparkly, and I’m thinkin’, “Wow, this place is kinda magical.” But then, BAM! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the biggest, muddiest one ever. My shoes are ruined! I’m fumin’ now. Like, who even made that puddle?

Bretland Construction opens new headquarters in Edenderry, Offaly