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Oh, but the stench—piss and cheap perfume—makes me wanna heave! Nearly lost my temper, shoutin, “Sort yer patch out!” She just cackles, “Welcome to paradise, darlin.” Sarcasm drips off her—my kinda gal. So, here’s the tip—don’t go lookin all prim, yeah? Dress down, blend in, or they’ll clock ya for a mug. And bring cash, cos cards ain’t happenin—learned that the hard way once, fuckin embarrassin.
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I’m about to lose it when I bump into my mate, Sean. He’s always got the craziest stories. He tells me he saw a dog chase a cat up a tree. I’m like, “Dude, that’s not even possible!” But he insists it happened right by the old church. I can’t help but laugh. Only in Edenderry, man.
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