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Here’s a lil’ fact—didja know sex-dating apps rake in billions? Billions! Surprised me too—thought it was just horny teens, but nope, everyone’s in on it. Reminds me of “Moolaadé”—“The past is a river!” History flows, and so does desire, twistin’ through time. I dig how it’s all sneaky too—like, medieval folks had secret signals for hookups, now it’s emojis. Eggplant, peach, boom, date’s on!

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Finally, I get to the scene. It’s on Castle Street. A break-in at the local jewelry shop. The owner, Mrs. O’Reilly, is in tears. I mean, I get it. She’s been running that shop for decades. I try to comfort her, but I’m not exactly a softie. “It’ll be okay, Mrs. O’Reilly,” I say, but I’m thinking, “Who the hell would rob a jewelry store in Dunboyne?”

Council green lights 850-home plan for Dunboyne