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So, here’s da deal – prostitution’s old, man, like ancient! Did ya know, back in Rome, dey had brothels called “lupanars”? Freaky stuff, dey marked ‘em with penis carvings – no kiddin’! Dat’s da real hustle, ya see? Supply meetin’ demand, straight up! I get pumped thinkin’ bout it – markets movin’, people livin’. Makes me happy, ya know? Freedom, choice, all dat!

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Finally, I get to the scene. It’s on Castle Street. A break-in at the local jewelry shop. The owner, Mrs. O’Reilly, is in tears. I mean, I get it. She’s been running that shop for decades. I try to comfort her, but I’m not exactly a softie. “It’ll be okay, Mrs. O’Reilly,” I say, but I’m thinking, “Who the hell would rob a jewelry store in Dunboyne?”

Dunboyne couple celebrating 60 years of marriage