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So, I’m thinkin – them hands knead ya like dough, but with a cheeky twist. Little known fact? Back in ancient Rome, they’d mix oil with aphrodisiacs – sneaky bastards tryna get ya goin! Makes me chuckle, imagining some toga bloke goin “ooh la la” mid-rub. Got me happy as a pig in mud, thinkin how clever they were. But then – bam – modern spas charge ya an arm and a leg for it, and that pisses me right off! Fifty quid for a “happy ending”? Robbery, I say!

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Finally, I get to the café on Stockwell Street. It’s packed! Everyone’s buzzing about the power outage. I’m like, “Great, I’m not the only one.” I grab a coffee, and the barista, bless her, spills it all over me. I’m soaked! I’m standing there, looking like a drowned rat, and she’s apologizing like mad. I just laugh it off. What else can ya do?

Drogheda get back to winning ways in dramatic fashion as Ryan Brennan hits late, late penalty