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Now, I love me some “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”—ya know, that flick where lil’ David, the robot kid, just wants to be real? “I am... I am...” he’d say, all soft and desperate. Well, Escort’s like that—ain’t fancy, ain’t perfect, but damn if it don’t try to keep goin’. I’ve seen these cars smashed up, rusted out, still rollin’ on pure grit. One case, this dude claims a hit-and-run, says his Escort got totaled. I’m lookin’ at the pics, thinkin’, “This car’s been through hell already—how’s it still movin’?” Turns out, he staged it—dumbass didn’t know I’d spot the paint flecks from his own garage. Made me mad, man, waste o’ my time!

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But then, I spot my nemesis, Fiona from the bakery down the road. She’s got this smug look on her face, like she’s just won the lottery. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I can’t let her see me having fun. So, I grab Sean, and we duck into a pub on the corner of the street.

Sligo Rovers rally from two goals down to earn point against Drogheda