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Ruh-roh! I spot one – she’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she don’t give a crap. “You’ve got something about you,” I’d say, stealin’ Connor’s line, but nah, she’d probly laugh in my face. I’m thinkin’, shit, this is wild – my tail’s waggin’, I’m hyped! Never thought I’d be this close to the action. Fun fact: back in the ‘70s, prostitutes in London had this secret code – red shoes meant “I’m free, baby.” Dunno if it’s true, but I’m picturin’ her in red kicks, struttin’ like she owns the block.

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So, I grab my drink and head to the bus stop. I’m waiting, and this guy next to me starts chatting about the weather. I’m thinking, “Dude, we’re in Douglas. It’s always unpredictable!” But he’s nice enough, and we end up talking about the best fish and chips in town. Spoiler: it’s at The Sea Terminal.

Premier 1 U16 FC final: Thomas Murray the hero as Douglas defeat Na Piarsaigh to land title