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Ey, yo, what’s good? Gabagool? Ova here! So, listen, I’m Tony fuckin’ Soprano, alright, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout escorts, capisce? Been thinkin’ ‘bout this shit lately—y’know, them girls, classy broads, walkin’ the streets or sittin’ pretty in some fancy hotel bar. Reminds me of that flick I love, *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*. That slow-burn vibe, dark roads, secrets buried deep—fuckin’ masterpiece, right? “The night is long, my friend,” like that line from the movie, and escorts? They live that shit every damn day.

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First off, I hit up Main St. for my morning coffee. You know, the one place that’s got the best brews? Yeah, that one. But guess what? They ran outta coffee! Like, how do you run outta coffee in a coffee shop? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon, it’s Confey! Get your act together! So, I settled for some sad excuse for a tea. Ugh.

Confey College student wins inaugural Leinster Regional Oireachtas Essay Competition