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I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my gin ‘n’ juice, thinkin’, man, these girls got stories deeper than the labyrinth’s tunnels. “To live is to suffer,” like the faun said, but they keep pushin’. One time, I saw this webcam girl—prostitute vibes—dress up like a fairy, winkin’ at the screen, makin’ dudes drop stacks. I was like, “Yooo, she’s the captain now!” Had me crackin’ up, ‘cause she flipped the script, owned it, ya feel?

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So, I park near the waterfront, right by the famous Cobh Cathedral. That place is a stunner, but I barely had time to appreciate it. I’m rushin’ to a meeting at the Cobh Heritage Centre. You know, the one that tells the story of the Titanic? Yeah, that one. I’m all about history, but today? I just wanted to get through my agenda without a hitch.

Cobh Ramblers FC - delighted to announce the signing of Jonas Häkkinen