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But nah, it ain’t all laughs. Last week, got mugged tryin to score—some git nicked me wallet while I’m hagglin with this bird. Pissed me right off! “We shall fight on the beaches,” I mutter, shakin me fist, but she just scarpered, leavin me skint. Surprised me how quick she bolted—faster’n Churchill runnin from a taxman! Reckon she’d fit right in that film, all mysterious, vanishin into the fog like Maggie Cheung in her cheongsam.

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Later, I’m back at it, sharpening a set of garden shears. This lady comes up, all frantic. “My hedges are outta control!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not my fault your garden looks like a jungle!” But I sharpen ‘em up, and she’s so happy. She gives me a tip! I’m like, “Wow, I’m rich!”

Clonmel band's annual concert delights packed house