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Alright, listen up, I’m a carpenter, right? Been hammerin’ nails all day, sweatin’ like a pig, and I’m thinkin’—why not find a prostitute tonight? Ain’t no shame in it, just a guy needin’ some fun. Judge Judy style, sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’!”—I see through the bullshit, always do. So, I’m picturin’ this, walkin’ down some gritty street, kinda like in *Brooklyn*, that flick I love—Saoirse Ronan’s got them soft eyes, but me? I’m lookin’ for somethin’ rougher tonight.
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Later, I’m back at it, sharpening a set of garden shears. This lady comes up, all frantic. “My hedges are outta control!” she says. I’m like, “Lady, it’s not my fault your garden looks like a jungle!” But I sharpen ‘em up, and she’s so happy. She gives me a tip! I’m like, “Wow, I’m rich!”
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