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Alright, so I’m a carpenter, right? Dr. House style—sarcastic, gimpy bastard, “Everybody lies.” Let’s talk about whores, ‘cause why not? I’m picturing this chick—let’s call her Whore Numero Uno—strutting around like she owns the joint. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*, that scene where Hans Landa’s all, “That’s a bingo!”—she’s got that smug vibe. Total pro, works the room, knows every guy’s a sucker. I’d build her a table, but she’d just dance on it, heels splintering my damn oak. Pisses me off—good wood ain’t cheap!

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Turns out, there’s a street performer on the corner of Fettercairn Road. This dude is juggling flaming torches! Like, what? Who does that? I’m standing there, mouth agape, thinking, “This guy’s gonna set himself on fire.” But nah, he’s a pro. I’m clapping, laughing, and feeling all warm inside. Clondalkin’s got talent, I tell ya!

Clondalkin Round Tower Visitor Centre suddenly closes 'until further notice'