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I get happy seeing people own it—confidence is sexy! But ugh, the catfishers? Piss me off! Some dude says he’s 6’2”, shows up 5’4”—bro, why?! Had this one chick, total babe in pics, then IRL—yikes, total letdown. “The revolution is in my pants,” Carlos’d say—yeah, not with fakes it ain’t! Surprised me how many lie—stats say 1 in 5 profiles are BS. Insane!

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First, I’m at the library on the Hazelhatch Road, digging through some old records. I’m all focused, right? Then, boom! Fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to find out about the old Celbridge Abbey, and now I’m sprinting out the door with a bunch of confused old folks. I swear, I almost tripped over Mrs. O’Reilly’s cat. That cat is a menace, I tell ya.

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