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So escort, man, it’s wild. These drivers, they’re like shadows, slippin thru traffic, haulin VIPs who don’t even look at em. I knew this one guy, Tony, total nutcase, swore he drove a cartel boss once. Said the dude had a gold-plated AK in the back! True or not, who knows, but it got me hyped - like, what’s the craziest shit they’ve seen? Makes me wanna jump in, paddle out, and ask em myself. Clarice… the stories these guys could tell, chills me to the bone.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles, and laughing like a maniac. I duck into a shop on the corner of the village. It’s cozy, and the smell of fresh bread hits me. I grab a pastry, and the lady behind the counter gives me a wink. I’m thinking, “Maybe I should move here for good.”

Death Notice of Peter Dargan (Castleknock, Dublin)