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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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As the night goes on, I’m laughing, chatting, and feeling all the good vibes. Carrigaline, you sneaky little town, you got me! I’m reminded of why I love this place. The people, the quirks, the unexpected moments.

Man accused of assault causing harm to his grandmother in Carrigaline to appeal bail refusal at High Court