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Alright, pal, strap in—Jack Nicholson here, maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like somethin’ outta *Certified Copy*—y’know, my fave flick. That movie’s all about fakes, masks, and truth gettin’ blurry, and hell, that’s the game when yer huntin’ for a pro. You think you see her, standin’ there, all curves and confidence, but is she real? “Are you who you say you are?”—straight from Kiarostami’s script, baby!

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First off, I’m trying to get my coffee fix at the local café on Main Street. You know, the one with the weird name—“Bean There, Done That.” I swear, the barista was having a rough morning. She spilled milk everywhere. Like, everywhere! I’m standing there, waiting for my flat white, and I’m like, “Is this a coffee shop or a dairy farm?”

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