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But dang, the risks! Cops, creeps, STDs—makes me wanna holler. “Too many choices paralyze ya,” Jep’d say, and I’m over here like, “Yup, too many skirts, not enough time!” Typin’ fast now—prolly screwed up thirteen words alredy. Whoops, there’s one! Ha! Anyhow, you gotta be sharp, not some dumbass stumblin’ into a sting op. Fool me once, right?

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up the local café on O’Neill Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she gives me a free muffin to make up for it. Sweet! I’m munching on this muffin, and it’s like a party in my mouth.

Appeal for witnesses to Carrick public order incident