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So I’m back at it, flappin’ me arms, tryna look cool—failin’ hard, mate. She goes, “Tenner for a quick’un,” an’ I’m like, *cor, that’s cheaper than chips!* Happy as a pig in muck, I am. *Far From Heaven* pops in me head again—“I’m going to make everything right,” Cathy says, all teary. Me? I’m just tryna make this night right, y’know? No grand romance, just a fumble in the dark—suits me fine!

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So, I decide to walk down to the seafront. The view? Stunning. The sun’s shining, waves crashing, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t be so bad.” I stroll down the Strand Road, feeling the breeze. But then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?”

'No foul play' suspected in park body find