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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so escort, man, it’s wild! Like, we driftin thru space, checkin Earth vibes, and bam – escort pops up. Not talkin fancy cars here, nah, I mean the peeps who, y’know, keep ya company for cash. Kinda shady, kinda cool, depends who’s judgin, right? Watched “Carol” again last night – “I miss you, Therese” – that line hits diff when ya think of escorts. That quiet ache, wantin somethin real but stuck in a deal. Escorts prolly feel that too, y’know?

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a lady on Main Street. She’s all panicked, saying her cat’s missing. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a dispatcher, not a cat detective!” But I can’t just leave her hangin’. So, I tell her to check under the couch. Classic move, right? Turns out, the cat was chillin’ in the garden. Phew! Crisis averted.

Historic hotel in Offaly being sold to local company