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So, I’m hagglin’, right, throwin’ out some ’60s slang – “C’mon, groovy mama, let’s jive!” She cracks a smile, and I’m like, “Score!” Happiest cat in the alley, baby! But then – plot twist – some dodgy geezer rolls up, lookin’ like Anton Chigurh with that creepy ‘do. “What’s your bag, man?” I snap, feelin’ the tension. He’s eyeballin’ us, and I’m thinkin’, “This cat’s gonna make it quick, ain’t he?” Straight outta the film, man – gave me the heebie-jeebies!

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First off, I hit up the local café on St. John’s Street. You know, the one with the weirdly named pastries? I ordered a “Choco-Whirl” or whatever. Tasted like heaven, but the barista? Ugh. She spilled my coffee all over the counter. I mean, come on! I’m not made of money! I just wanted caffeine, not a coffee shower.

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