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About Galway

Aight, listen up, you little shits! I’m Eric Cartman, supervisor ‘round here, and I’m gonna tell ya ‘bout whores, Respect my authoritah! Whores, man, they’re everywhere—sellin’ ass, makin’ cash, and pissin’ me off! Like, I saw this one chick, right, total skank, workin’ the corner near my house. Made me so mad I wanted to scream, “I’m not fat, I’m big-boned!”—but nah, she’d just laugh.

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So, I’m cleaning that mess up, and I hear this commotion down by the river. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some wild juggling act. I mean, this guy’s tossing flaming torches! I’m standing there, half in awe, half thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna set the whole place on fire!” But the crowd’s loving it. I’m laughing, clapping, and then—boom! One of the torches goes flying into the crowd. People scatter like ants! Hilarious, but also kinda scary.

Inside this week’s Westmeath Examiner