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About Galway

Well now, lemme tell ya, friends—sexual-massage, huh? Deep, wise narrator voice kickin’ in, like I’m sittin’ by a fire, sippin’ somethin’ strong. It’s a tricky lil’ beast, ain’t it? Hands slidin’ over skin, tension meltin’—ooh, gets ya thinkin’. Reminds me of *Zero Dark Thirty*, that gritty hunt, y’know? “We’re all smart here,” they’d say—same vibe, but sexier, quieter. Ain’t no bin Laden hidin’ in this story, just folks tryna feel good.

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Anyway, I’m just settling in, right? Got my headset on, ready to take calls. First call comes in. It’s Mrs. Thompson from down on Maple Ave. She’s all frantic, like her cat’s stuck in a tree or somethin’. I’m like, “Chill, lady, it’s just a cat.” But she’s wailing about how Mr. Jenkins’ dog is chasing her cat. I mean, come on! It’s Westport, not a soap opera!

Death Notice of Christopher Gavin (Westport, Mayo)