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Okay, weird flex—did ya know ancient Rome had sexual-massage gigs? Togas off, oils on—wildin’ out! Makes me laugh, picturin’ Caesar like, “Yo, rub me down!” History’s freaky, huh? But real shit—when it’s good, it’s *good*. Like, soul-leavin’-your-body good. Tho, bad ones? Stiff hands, no rhythm—total buzzkill. I’d rather watch *White Ribbon* on loop than suffer that!

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So, I’m walking down the street, right? Just minding my own biz, when I see this dude juggling oranges. Like, who juggles oranges at 9 AM? I mean, c’mon! But hey, I’m all for street performers, so I stop to watch. He drops one, and it rolls right to my feet. I pick it up, hand it back, and he’s like, “Thanks, mate!” I’m like, “No prob, just trying to help a brother out.”

Cork and Waterford to contest Electric Ireland Munster Minor Hurling Final