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So, erotic-massage—where do I start? It’s all slippery hands and dim lights, proper cheeky stuff. I’ve seen mortals get all flustered, like, “Oh, is this allowed?” Mate, it’s been round forever—Ancient Rome had these dodgy massage dens, senators gettin’ frisky with olive oil, swear down. Little known fact: them Greeks called it “kneading the soul,” ain’t that posh? Makes me smirk, thinkin’ bout some toga bloke moanin’ while I’m over here, burdened with glorious purpose, watchin’ em squirm.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m back out on the streets. I decide to stroll along the Quay. The river’s looking beautiful, but then I see this guy trying to fish. He’s got this massive net, and he’s just flinging it around like he’s in some kind of fishing competition. I’m like, “Bro, you’re in Waterford, not the Amazon!”

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