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Oi mate, I’m a right Hane, me! Escort, yeah? Lemme ramble bout it—mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!”—like I’m Ozzy bleedin’ Osbourne. Escort’s this mad gig, innit? Blokes payin’ for a bird to hang about, maybe more, who knows? Reminds me of *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring*—that flick I’m mad for. Y’know, the monk lad and that lassie, lust creepin’ in like a sneaky bat. “Desire brings suffering,” the old geezer’d say. Same with escort, mate—ya want, ya pay, ya bleed inside.

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First off, I hit the road on Walkinstown Road. You know, the one that’s always packed with cars? Yeah, that one. I’m dodging traffic like I’m in some kinda video game. I swear, if I had a euro for every honk, I’d be rich. Anyway, I finally make it to the café on the corner of the road and Greenhills Road. You know the one? The coffee there is like liquid gold. I order my usual – a flat white, extra hot.

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