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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, we’re talkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, eh? Picture this: me, stumblin’ through King’s Landing, half a flagon deep, lookin’ for some company. Reminds me o’ that flick *Shame*—y’know, my fave, Steve McQueen’s 2011 gem. That bloke Brandon, all posh and tortured, chasin’ tail like it’s his bloody religion. “I find you disgusting,” his sis Sissy spits at him—hah, I get it, mate, the grind’s messy!

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the shops on the main street. You know, the ones near the Walkinstown Roundabout? I’m browsing through some shops, and I spot this vintage jacket. It’s like something outta the ‘80s. I’m thinking, “This is it! My new look!” But when I check the price tag, I nearly faint. Like, who do they think they are? Gucci? Nah, mate, I’m not dropping that much cash.

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